My sister and the actor

'We trudge together.'

My sister has a famous actor friend who used to have a drinking problem. She hadn’t talked to him in a while, but she decided to reach out to him, and suggest he read these ‘Confessions.’

“He’s the perfect person to read your stuff.”

But, why? Why would she take even a moment from her frenzied day to try to contact an old friend — and ask him to read her little brother’s blog? And, for that matter, why would he?

Of course, I was grateful for her effort.

But there are just so many things to be thankful for these days, sometimes, it’s hard to keep track. It really hasn’t stopped since I walked in the door about a year ago — and my mother threw her arms around me. From there, it’s been nothing but sauerkraut smoothies, fresh linens — every kind of comfort you could imagine a mother wrapping up her prodigal junkie in.

I’m wearing new shoes that my ex-partner bought for me when she last visited. The rest of my clothes were thrifted by mom. Even my soul feels like a bargain bin find. The kind that makes you look back with gratitude and think, ‘What a deal.’

Before today, I couldn’t imagine a world where I deserved this kind of love. I still have trouble imagining that it’s the world I live in. My addiction had so clouded my mind, I felt just the opposite — that this is a world I didn’t want to live in.

What did I do to deserve this — except break hearts, ravage relationships, and inflict every manner of suffering on those who tried to love me?

It turns out addiction doesn’t conquer all. In fact, my family’s love never faltered. Only my ability to know it.

But sometimes, there’s just so much to appreciate, the subtle kindnesses can go unnoticed. Like, when I first realized that my sister wrote to her famous actor friend.

And guess what. He got right back to her — and subscribed to these Confessions. Maybe he’s reading them right now.

“I’m so happy for you bro,” my sister said. “You needed your spirits lifted to inspire you to KEEP GOING!!!!”

A little later, she added, “Always thinking of you and forever in your corner, no matter what.”

I wrote to thank the actor too. He offered the kind of words you’d expect from a kind soul.

And also this truth.

“We trudge together.”

We really do, don’t we? As family, as people, our struggles don’t define us. It’s how we trudge together — until we find the spring in our step.